Of clown motels and moonscapes

Headed down to Tucson

Headed down to Tucson

Though these posts are coming a bit late, I’m still out there, in my head at least. I wish I was! After leaving New Mexico, which I really didn’t want to do for some reason, I took the winding road through Mule Creek Pass to Tucson. This treacherous, beautiful section of road is always empty and feels as if you’re descending from a much higher altitude, if only because you’re headed to hot, flat desert.

I got a call almost to Tucson from wonderful Enterprise Rent a Car, they’ll pick you up didn’t you know! I will never rent from them again- the guy told me if I wasn’t there in half an hour, they were closing and I wouldn’t be able to pick up my car. They call me the same day I’m supposed to pick up the car, not a day before so I could make alternate plans.  Awesome. I should have learned my lesson from the last time I rented from this place (on Grant Road)- my brakes fell out of the car halfway to Austin. I mean, the brake pads FELL OFF. The towtruck driver said he’s only seen that happen once in the past 20 years. Well, I learned my lesson good. I advise you avoid this partifular rental shop if you want to live.

I headed out to Fatal Arabian ranch up near the mountains in Tucson to meet up with my travel buddy, my BFF Khristina. She was very, very excited. I wish I could post the video clip of her reaction…but am not currently able to embed files. Imagine a 6 year old who’s had several shots of pure sugar and is equipped with 26-year-old vocal cords. I love her 🙂

We loaded up with groceries and energy drinks. Preparing for Burning Man is unlike packing for any other trip you’ll ever take. Along with your normal survival essentials, you’ll need dusk masks, goggles, all the water you’ll use for a week, crazy costumes, blinky lights, cold weather clothes, hot weather clothes, rebar stakes to hold things down, and lots and lots of baby wipes. Trust me, you’ll need lots of them. There’s a little condition known as “playa crotch” that experienced Burners can tell you all about. Baby wipes will help you alleviate this troublesome ailment.

And did you know that they are making it impossible for bums to steal shopping cards these days? Not having tried to steal a shopping cart before, we were hauling ass at a good “ha ha we’re taking a cart” kind of clip when a bum yelled at us that we were in trouble. Not understanding, we hit the invisible wall that now secures shopping carts to the parking lots of their respective stores. Ouch. It’s really like hitting a brick wall at full speed. Now we know. Thanks, bum. Too little too late.

We set off way before reasonable daylight hours, somewhere in the vicinity of 4 am, after emergency stops to get bungee cords and propane. The car creaked under a ridiculous load, we said some prayers, and started off on the 16 hour trek across some of the loneliest, creepiest country in the U.S.

Nevada is full of people hiding out from the law/family/bill collectors, brothels, empty roads, and cows. It’s a moonscape, and while beautiful, has always struck me as horror-movie fodder. Take this place, for instance. Of course pets are o.k.! They taste great!! Muah ha ha ha ha hahaaa!

This place is not a joke. Tonopah, Nevada.

This place is not a joke. Tonopah, Nevada.

As the sun went down and it got darker, we were glad to reach our final resting place before Black Rock City- Fallon, Nevada. We’d learned a lot about each other in 16 hours. Road trips will do that to ya. Note to self: pack more CDs. And traveling with someone that hasn’t been through these places makes it all look newer, and more exciting. One more chance to stock up and then we’re incommunicado!
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One response to “Of clown motels and moonscapes

  1. … and lots and lots and lots of baby wipes …

    And where in Tonopah is that creepy motel? I’ll have to make a point to avoid it at all costs.

    I’m excited you’re finally getting around to writing about your experiences now that you’ve got some spare time on your hands.

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